I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
