I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
