school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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