im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
