I want to make a zoo with you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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