is wine microwaveable?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize