so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
