In the future we'll all be gay
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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