some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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