Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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