he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
