i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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