Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
