I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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