love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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