A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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