I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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