one two three fourrrrnication!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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