Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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