I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
