just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
