dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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