I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
