bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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