Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
