allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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