Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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