remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
