i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
