He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
