Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
