all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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