this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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