He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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