I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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