I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
