Define "chronic" masturbator.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
