We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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