At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Panties = found
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
