I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
