I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
