I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize