He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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