on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
