You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
