If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
