I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
