i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
