he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
