Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
