literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
