i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
