Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
