honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize