Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
