batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think my fart just growled at me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
