so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
3pm strippers are depressing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
