i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
