If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize