bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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