Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
