yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
