I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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