How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
