Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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