I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
