why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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